1 You need to do it, you do it.
Every time when the word “need” is spoken, when it comes to debt or commitments, you should ask the question “Who needs it? Manipulators like to keep silent about what they want in the first place. For example, the parents’ phrase “You need to find a job”, cleared of manipulation, will sound as follows: “I need you to stop sitting on my neck and go to work. Meanwhile, the teenager does not have to go to work, he sits comfortably on his neck.
2. Do not promise. If you have promised, do it.
Remember how often under pressure from other people you made rash promises. A manipulator will deliberately push you to make reckless promises and then exploit your guilt. Just don’t make promises, but if you made promises, do it. Then, next time you will think twice before making any unnecessary commitments.
3. don’t ask – stay out of it.
It often happens that we, guided by good intentions, do only worse. We were simply not asked for help. Then our efforts are taken for granted. It is even worse when instead of one person asks another. By helping in such a situation, we also violate the law “You have to do it, you do it. If it seems obvious to you that a person needs help, take the opportunity to ask him if he is ready to accept it from you. Suddenly, a girl who has a stuck heel in the drain grate, set it up on purpose to meet that cute kid over there. And you, beech, took it and ruined everything. You could have at least asked.
4. Do not refuse a request.
Any request implies gratitude. Manipulators tend to make empty promises or forget about services. Fulfill the request, but do not hesitate to ask for a return service. Perhaps, even in advance.
5. Live in the present (not the past and not the future).
One of the most important laws, it helps easily break down the manipulation of comparison with you in the past. We never want to be worse than ourselves, this is often used by other people. For example, the manipulation “You weren’t like this before,” easily destroys “You used to be like this before. Promises of a sweet future, the promises of half of the skin of an unkilled bear immediately stop after the question “So it will be then, and what exactly do you propose now?
6. Do not get attached.
How often do we get attached to a person, subject or occupation? How strong can this attachment be without compromising our mental balance? Each has its own answer to this question. Just remember: with these emotional ties, you can easily be blackmailed. Do not let your loved ones become domestic terrorists, do not fall in love with them.
7. Do not set a goal (the goal must serve as a beacon).
For me, it was the strangest law. It is important for me to be purposeful. It took me some time to realize its wisdom. That is why I prefer its wording with the addition of the lighthouse. If the goal is set incorrectly, then after it is reached, there is devastation. Most likely, this goal is imposed on you from the outside. So always ask yourself, or the people who inspire you, the question “And then what? Let me give you an example of another of the favorite phrases of all parents: “You need to get a higher education. And then what? It is possible to be a realtor, a sales consultant or start a business without higher education.
8. Do not interfere. The most ingenious of all laws.
It can and should be used both in relation to yourself and other people. The phrase “Do not interrupt, please” is able to work real wonders. The main thing is to say it before you begin to feel irritated.
9. Nature has no bad weather. The law with the greatest philosophical potential.
It teaches you to use every opportunity, including your misses. It is formulated differently in other systems. For example, in NLP it sounds as follows: “There are no defeats, there are only feedback”. This is how many people around you will be happy to remind you of your failures or complain about how bad things are around you. With this approach, it is easy to influence your mood. In such cases, remember: there is no good or bad, there is only your attitude.
10. Do not judge, do not criticize. Sometimes it is very difficult to hold back and not criticize other people.
Only criticism is not necessary for anyone – neither you, nor others. Remember this. When you are once again judged, listen, but do not criticize in return. Here is my range of questions for such judges: “And what does this mean?”, “How do you propose to change this situation?”, “Why do you think that only your assessment of the situation is correct? And it’s better just not to take the bad into your head and the heavy one into your hands.
11. do not pass on information without making it your own (experience, skill, ability).
If you don’t check the information you distribute further, you become a gossiper. Your words are no longer believed. Your enemies will gladly take advantage of this. When communicating with others, clarify how exactly they have verified the information they are telling you. Most do not check it at all, becoming a victim of hacking games or political propaganda.
12. Everywhere and always ask permission. The law of etiquette.
Its use will not only insure you against unnecessary efforts, but will also give you the image of a polite person. Just ask with inner confidence, otherwise you will look like an eternally doubtful weirdo. By the way, I unwittingly used this law, offering to ask if a person needs help. In the same way, other laws are connected with each other, thus creating a mental shield against manipulation. Use it with a smile, as well as when performing asanas.